You feel a sense of enough, rather than a need to measure whether you have more or less than others.

你感觉到一种足够的感觉，而不是需要衡量你是否比别人拥有更多或更少。

We have values because we are verbal, symbolic creatures who can imagine futures that have never been and think creatively about how to take a current situation and advance it. Language is an excellent tool to note and describe behavior, which allows us to gain increasing control over it. Language is also double-edged. The symbolic processes that enable us to hold values bump up against the impulse to measure and compare ourselves in ways that leave us never satisfied, never happy, never at peace. (how do you understand this sentence?) 我们有价值观，因为我们是语言的、象征性的生物，能够想象从未有过的未来，并创造性地思考如何应对当前形势并推动它。语言是记录和描述行为的极好工具，它使我们能够越来越多地控制行为。语言也是一把双刃剑。使我们能够持有价值观的象征性过程与衡量和比较我们自己的冲动相撞，让我们永远不会满足，永远不会快乐，永远不会平静。

As those uses of cognition gain ground, we become inordinately focused on achievement, money, power, and domination over others as the ultimate values: We pretend we'll live forever, are better than others. We wind up presenting a mask to the world, which prevents us from making genuine connections with others. 随着认知的应用逐渐普及，我们变得过分关注成就、金钱、权力和对他人的支配，将其视为终极价值观：我们假装自己会永远活下去，比别人更好。我们最终向世界展示了一个面具，这阻止了我们与他人建立真正的联系。

Values get you to enough; they make this moment about something that you hold dear, and then the next moment, and the next. A person with values might look back and say, "I am committed to being loving. I'm never as loving as I need to be, but I'm on that journey." 价值观让你得到足够的满足；他们把这一刻当作你珍视的东西，然后是下一刻，下一刻。一个有价值观的人可能会回过头来说：“我致力于被爱。我从来没有像我需要的那样被爱，但我已经踏上了这段旅程。”

Because what generates vitality and meaning is right up against what generates comparison and judgment, it's all too easy to slip from enough to more. The solution is to regard values as qualities of being and doing—not as labels worn as self-righteous armor. Actions are loving or kind or honest. When, in the continuing course of life, each moment is values-connected, the journey unfolds and then one's life is enough. 因为产生活力和意义的东西与产生比较和判断的东西正好相反，所以很容易从足够的东西滑向更多的东西。解决办法是将价值观视为存在的品质，而不是作为自以为是的盔甲佩戴的标签。行动是爱的、善良的或诚实的。当在生命的持续过程中，每一个时刻都是相互关联的，旅程就展开了，那么一个人的生命就足够了。

If asked, many people would say they go to work to provide for their families. This is important and true, but it is separate from the values that nudge them forward. Valuing money as a means to autonomy and sustenance is critical and presumably close to a human universal. Valuing money as a means to an end—wanting money to be able to contribute to others, for example—is one thing. It's another when money feeds comparison, judgment, and avoidance of the pain that comes with being human. If you use money in that pursuit, it doesn't matter how successful you are—you always want more. It's a thirst that can't be quenched. 如果被问到，许多人会说他们去工作是为了养家糊口。这很重要也很正确，但它与推动它们前进的价值观是不同的。将金钱视为自主和维持生计的手段至关重要，而且可能接近人类的普遍性。比如，把钱作为一种手段来评估，希望钱能够为他人做出贡献是一回事。这是另一种情况，金钱可以用来进行比较、判断和避免人类所带来的痛苦。如果你用金钱去追求，无论你有多成功，你总是想要更多。这是一种无法熄灭的渴望。

People vary on how dominant the comparisons more and less are in their mindset. In a recent study my colleagues and I conducted, we found that those who respond very strongly to more and less tend to be not as satisfied with life and to experience more negative affect than those whose response is weaker. People who always want more are miserable because they will never get to enough. 人们对比较在他们的心态中所占的主导地位有不同的看法。在我的同事和我最近进行的一项研究中，我们发现那些对越来越少的事情反应强烈的人往往对生活不那么满意，并且比那些反应较弱的人体验到更多的负面影响。总是想要更多的人是痛苦的，因为他们永远都不够。

You can readily name your heroes. 你可以很容易地命名你的英雄。

As our heroes, we choose the people who stand for something we admire, something we would like to stand for ourselves. As a result, one way of getting at your values is to ask yourself, "Who are my heroes?" Once you identify the people who really mean something to you, who move you deeply in some way, then you can spend time examining and identifying exactly what that something is. What do they stand for, in your eyes, in the qualities of their actions?

作为我们的英雄，我们选择那些代表我们敬佩的东西，我们愿意代表我们自己的东西的人。因此，了解你的价值观的一种方法是问自己，“谁是我的英雄？”一旦你确定了那些对你来说真正有意义的人，他们以某种方式深深地打动了你，那么你就可以花时间检查和确定那些东西到底是什么。在你看来，他们的行为品质代表了什么？

3. You can single out the sweetest moments of your life.你可以挑出你生命中最甜蜜的时刻

Think of the most rewarding moments of your life and pinpoint what makes them so. Sometimes values are domain-specific, sometimes more general. If, for example, you are looking at work values, think back to those moments in your career where you felt especially alive, especially vital, especially moved, especially connected to life—moments that were special in some way. Then unpack that experience. There will be something in that memory that connects you to the vital source of valuing. When confusion sets in, it can serve as a light to direct you to what you care about. 想一想你生命中最有意义的时刻，并指出是什么让它们如此。有时值是特定于域的，有时更一般。例如，如果你正在审视工作价值观，回想一下你职业生涯中那些你觉得特别有活力、特别重要、特别感动的时刻，特别是那些与生活有着某种特殊联系的时刻。然后把这段经历解开。记忆中会有某种东西将你与价值的重要来源联系起来。当困惑开始时，它可以作为一盏灯，指引你去关注你所关心的。

4. You can identify your greatest pain. 你可以说出你最大的痛苦

We hurt where we care. Pain has large lessons to teach us. If you look inside the pain and see why it hurts, you have a precise and powerful indicator of what you value. 我们在乎的地方受伤。痛苦给我们上了很多课。如果你观察疼痛的内部，了解疼痛的原因，你就有了一个准确而有力的指标来衡量你的价值。

You can flip that pain over as if it were a piece of paper and ask yourself, What would you have to not care about for that not to hurt? That is what you value. If you were betrayed in love and the experience stabbed you through the heart, that means you care about love. If you were lied to, and it deeply hurt you, you care about honesty. If somebody showed disloyalty to you in a way that shocked you, you can be certain that loyalty and commitment from others are important to you. If you're afraid of being with other people or afraid you may not be accepted by others—socially phobic or socially anxious—you value being included, being connected to others. 你可以把痛苦像一张纸一样翻转过来，问问自己，为了不受伤，你有什么不必在意的？这就是你所看重的。如果你在爱情中被背叛，而这段经历刺穿了你的心，那就意味着你在乎爱情。如果你被骗了，这深深地伤害了你，你就会在乎诚实。如果有人以一种令你震惊的方式对你表现出不忠，你可以确信其他人的忠诚和承诺对你很重要。如果你害怕与其他人在一起，或者担心自己可能不被其他人接受，那么社交恐惧症或社交焦虑症会让你重视被包括在内，与他人保持联系。

Sometimes people are not willing to feel. But I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't have within a deep yearning to feel fully and openly, and to feel genuinely themselves. That yearning is invariably connected to past wounds, for which the mind's attempted solution is to try not to feel at all. 有时候人们不愿意去感受。但我还没有遇到过任何人，他们内心并不渴望充分、公开地感受，真正地感受自己。这种渴望总是与过去的创伤联系在一起，对于过去的创伤，大脑试图解决的办法是尽量不去感觉。

When you try to throw away painful parts of your history, you have to pretend that the other side of that experience—the values side—can be thrown away too. To throw out the pain of betrayal you have to forget that love matters. 当你试图抛开历史中痛苦的一部分时，你必须假装经验的另一面——价值观的一面也可以被抛开。为了摆脱背叛的痛苦，你必须忘记爱很重要。

5. You don't know the content, but you can identify the theme of the next chapter of your life narrative.你不知道故事的内容，但你可以确定你生命下一章的主题。

If you think about your life as a narrative, a story you are writing, what would you put in the next chapter if you wanted that chapter to stand for something? It can be helpful to think of values as an extension of your narrative, because they create the theme, the meaningful through-lines of our stories. The elements of the story so far—the challenges you've overcome, the opportunities you've missed or reached out for, the poignancy of love and loss—exemplify life as a journey. You don't yet know the details of the next chapter of your life story—you might get a phone call in the next two minutes that completely changes the content—but you do know the themes, the underlying meaning, because they are the values you are choosing to live by。如果你认为你的生活是一个故事，一个你正在写的故事，如果你想让下一章代表什么，你会在下一章中写什么？将价值观视为你叙述的延伸是有帮助的，因为它们创造了主题，通过我们故事中的台词创造了有意义的内容。到目前为止，这个故事的要素，你克服的挑战，你错过或寻求的机会，爱和失去的辛酸，都是人生旅途的例证。你还不知道你生活故事的下一章的细节。在接下来的两分钟内，你可能会接到一个电话，电话内容完全改变了，但你知道主题，基本含义，因为它们是你选择生活的价值观。