什么是真爱(什么是真爱英语作文)

At work, the goal is often to get away from toxic people. But in our private lives, we're more apt to invite them in. That's most likely to happen in the search for love. Toxic people often have appealing traits, like confidence. The most manipulative among them never reveal their true nature right away; they are likely, instead, to embark on a charm offensive, conducting a campaign of attention and flattery along with public displays of affection—say, a gaudy bouquet of flowers sent to you at the office, meant to impress your colleagues as much as you—to win the admiration and trust of a prospective partner. They move quickly.

在工作中，我们可以想方设法远离有毒人群。但在我们的私生活中，我们更倾向于吸引他们。这最有可能发生在寻找爱情的过程中。有毒的人通常有吸引人的特质，比如自信。他们中最善于操纵的人永远不会马上暴露自己的真实本性；相反，他们可能会发起魅力攻势，在公开表达爱意的同时进行一场关注和奉承的运动，比如在办公室送给你一束花哨的鲜花，意在给同事和你留下深刻印象，以赢得未来伴侣的钦佩和信任。他们行动迅速.

By the time they start exhibiting questionable behavior, like making unreasonable demands, says neuropsychologist Rhonda Freeman, we've grown emotionally attached to them. Once they've snuck into our psyches under the radar, we see them through a distorting lens. We react to their transgressions—lashing out at us in myriad ways, blaming us for their problems, ignoring our needs and requests—by trying to accommodate or justify their bad behavior: "He's under a lot of stress," or "She's really a good person."

神经心理学家朗达·弗里曼（Rhonda Freeman）说，当他们开始表现出可疑的行为，比如提出不合理的要求时，我们已经对他们产生了情感上的依恋。一旦他们在雷达下潜入我们的心灵，我们就会通过扭曲的镜头看到他们。我们以各种方式回应他们对我们的攻击，将他们的问题归咎于我们，忽略我们自己的需求和要求，试图迁就或为他们的不良行为辩护：“他承受了很大的压力”或“她真的是个好人”。

Love bombing is an intense, attention-filled courtship that suddenly gives way to extreme demands. Bombers—some because of their own insecurities, others due to their exploitative nature—seek to keep their partner to themselves, isolated from friends and family and totally dependent, making themselves the only focus of attention. When the target eventually objects, or the controlling partner tires of the game, devaluation begins. For the bomber, the target is always to blame.

爱情轰炸是一种强烈的、充满注意力的求爱，以便借此向我们提出极端的要求。轰炸机——一些是因为他们自己的不安全感，另一些是因为他们的剥削本性——试图让他们的伴侣独处，远离朋友和家人，完全依赖他，使自己成为唯一的关注焦点。当伴侣或被控制者最终反对，或者他自己厌倦了游戏，伴侣或被控制者的贬值就开始了。对轰炸机来说，对方永远是罪魁祸首。

It may take many cycles of pursuit and devaluation for the target to catch on and move toward ending the relationship. Some people may be especially drawn to love bombers. Those who lack confidence, are uncertain who they are or where they're going in life, or aren't sure they're justified in speaking up may be especially vulnerable to masquerades of love. And just as bullies specialize in singling out those who never stand up for themselves, bombers can be especially adept at sniffing out self-doubters.

可能需要许多追求和贬值的周期，被毒害得一方才能理解并走向结束这段有毒的关系。有些人可能特别喜欢轰炸机。那些缺乏自信、不确定自己是谁、生活将走向何方、或者不确定自己是否有理由直言不讳的人，可能特别容易受到爱情伪装的伤害。正如欺负者专门挑出那些从不为自己辩护的人一样，轰炸机也能特别善于嗅出自我怀疑者。